I’m a piano teacher and right now I have an extremely talented student who is sort of giving up on everything that she likes in her life because it all feels so ‘blah’. I was talking to my husband who reminded me that I should just share with her what I do when I fight through the ‘blah’ moments of my life. So I thought I should share it with you.
When I’m feeling down and like I can’t function or even when I’m just not enjoying the things I used to, I try to reconnect with old friends or my past life when I DID enjoy those things because I recognize that I’m not myself right now. I try to remember what it’s like to see my bookshelves filled with my favorite books just waiting for me to read them like old friends who are always going to be there for me. I rescue or help animals in need to try and remember that I love them and I love working with them.
Reminding yourself of who you really are isn’t easy, especially when you’re not sure you know who that is anymore. It’s always okay to recreate yourself. I’m not trying to sit here and tell you that you have to do everything you’ve always done. And I’m not saying it’s easy to feel like your world and life has no meaning. But I AM telling you that you need to try SOMETHING.
- Try a new hobby
- Talk to old friends about things you used to like (get to know your old self so you can make a new self)
- Explore the world around you to find new things
There are always ways you can fight. And you SHOULD fight.
I’m not a counselor or a psychiatrist. I don’t know exactly what to say to you to help you through this really miserable time in your life. I’m just someone who’s been through this a LOT and on the extreme end of it so I can say that I understand.
I suppose I should talk a little bit about you can help someone who’s feeling this way too.
If you know someone who’s going through a ‘blah’ time in their life, don’t push them to feel the same way they used to feel about things. That will only make it worse. Trying to be forced to care about something you really don’t care about just makes us feel like we can’t be ourselves around you- like you don’t accept us unless we’re the same person you’ve always known. So show us that you still care, that you’re here for us, that you love us even though we may not love ourselves right now and even though we’re feeling lost and scared.
So some things you can do are:
- Express love- and be completely sincere (we’ll see right through you if you’re not)
- Suggest random activities- sometimes we need help figuring out what it is we’d actually like to do (and don’t get frustrated if we shoot everything down. We’ll come around. Just give us some time)
- Try to be understanding- even if you’ve never been through this before that doesn’t make it any less real for us and it’s something that’s really difficult to go through
- Trust that we’ll be okay. Eventually- it’s not going to go away overnight but we’ll figure things out. This isn’t the end of the world or us as you know it
What I guess I want to say in conclusion is: don’t give up hope. You may not care about anything right now. You may know someone who doesn’t care about anything right now. But it will all be okay. If there’s one thing I can say with certainty it’s that. It will always EVENTUALLY be okay. Give it some time. It will suck. Boy, will it suck. But eventually, after everything’s worked through itself, you’ll come out on top and you’ll be able to say that you beat something really really hard. Go you!