So you may think that’s pretty obvious. Bad things happen. Okay, so that’s true. So what? Well, as obvious as it may seem to you, sometimes I completely forget all about it. Maybe it’s the way I was raised or some faulty wiring in my brain due to my illness. I have no idea.
But for some reason, I need almost constant reminding that when bad things happen I’m allowed to feel bad about it.
Recently, there was a big incident with my family. I’m very sensitive about my family and things going wrong. Due to some things I went through during childhood I’m also extremely sensitive to shouting or raised voices or people being overly upset. It sets my teeth on edge.
So this incident happened. I got upset. And then I felt guilty about feeling so upset.
When I say “upset”, I mean that it sent me into a week-long depressive episode. Until I spoke with my counselor about it I couldn’t figure out where all this depression was coming from and was very confused and agitated about it.
When I told my counselor that I was feeling depressed, she of course asked me if I knew what had triggered it. I couldn’t come up with anything so she asked me if anything else had really happened that I wanted to talk about. I immediately remembered the incident with my family and told her about that.
She asked me when that incident had happened and as soon as I answered I realized that it had precipitated the depression. My counselor just smiled at me and told me that it was completely natural to react the way I had and that anyone would have gotten upset over that (making sure I didn’t feel guilty about it, which I usually do).
So if any of you reading this need someone to tell you that it’s okay to feel bad about something bad happening to you, this is it. YOU CAN FEEL BAD WHEN BAD STUFF HAPPENS. That’s NATURAL. That’s NORMAL. That’s not you acting weird. That’s not your illness. That’s literally what normal people do when bad things happen.
Sure, you may react a bit more strongly but it’s still normal. Realize and recognize what happened and let yourself acknowledge that you’re hurting. Recognizing it usually helps the reaction pass more quickly.
But go ahead! Feel bad! No one likes bad stuff anyway.