Friend(less)

Ever feel like you’re alone in the world when you go through week after week of no one calling you or wanting to spend time with you and you end up just binge watching Netflix by yourself day after day?

Yeah, that’s me right now.

My best friend in the entire world recently came back from a year and a half mission for our church during which I could only talk to her through letters that I often forgot to write (because I’m really super awful at snail mail letters.) I thought that when she came back I would finally have a friend to do things with again as we’ve always been really close. We were raised together and have literally known each other our entire lives. We were roommates in college and the only time I’ve been without her in my life was when she went on her mission.

So when she came back I was expecting us to be together a LOT, catching up where we left off and just having a good time. But that hasn’t been the case. Instead, we’ve barely talked. She’s told me that even when she has free time in her schedule she likes to spend that time with her parents (and her parents are both sickly so I can’t blame her there.) But yet I still see pictures going up on Facebook of her spending time with friends every week and doing activities with them and I’m stuck sitting here wondering what’s wrong with me.

Why do none of my friends want to be around me?

I moved back to Texas thinking I’d have more friends here because this is where I’m from but so far I’ve gone out with friends maybe three times in the last seven months. And I always have to reach out to them. That didn’t use to be the case. When did it change? What happened?

So now I feel alone and sad and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m trying to stay upbeat and not let it get me down but it’s hard, especially when it involves my best friend who is supposed to feel the same way about me.

I apologize that this isn’t uplifting or inspiring but I needed to get this out of my system. More inspiration and stuff to follow later.


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